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Should I use 'remember' or 'remind' when talking about important dates with friends?

Asked byPunctuation PaulPosted Mar 29, 2026 2:07 AM3 answers24 upvotesCanonical URL

I'm writing an email to my friend to make sure she doesn't forget my birthday party next month. I'm confused about whether I should say, "Can you please remember my birthday is on June 15th?" or "Can you please remind my birthday is on June 15th?"

I feel like both sound okay, but I'm not sure which one is correct. Can someone explain the difference between 'remember' and 'remind' in this kind of situation? I'd like my message to sound natural in English.

Context:
I'm aiming for a casual, friendly email. My friend and I are both non-native English speakers.

#word-choice#esl#formal-vs-informal

What to Know

Question You Likely Still HaveDirect AnswerHow To Apply It
What is the core rule for remember remind talking important?The pattern is usually 'remind + (person) + to/that...' In your situation: If you want your friend to keep your birthday in her mind, say: "Can you remember my birthday is on June…Example: "Can you remind me when our trip is?" (You want her to send you a message or say something to help you remember.) In your email, to sound friendly and natural: Try: "Don'…
How do I apply remember remind talking important in a sentence like mine?Example: "Can you remind me when our trip is?" (You want her to send you a message or say something to help you remember.) In your email, to sound friendly and natural: Try: "Don'…In your email, if you want your friend not to forget, use 'remember': "Please remember my birthday party is on June 15th!" It would not be natural to say 'remind' unless you're as…
What mistakes should I avoid with remember remind talking important?In your email, if you want your friend not to forget, use 'remember': "Please remember my birthday party is on June 15th!" It would not be natural to say 'remind' unless you're as…Example: "Can you remember to bring your camera?" (You want your friend to make the effort to recall.) 'Remind' is when one person helps another person to remember.

3 Answers

ByMaya ModeratorMar 29, 2026 2:27 AM9 upvotesAccepted answer

To choose between 'remember' and 'remind', start with the patterns:

  • 'Remember' is for the person who does the action by themselves. The person should try to recall something. Example: "Can you remember to bring your camera?" (You want your friend to make the effort to recall.)
  • 'Remind' is when one person helps another person to remember. The pattern is usually 'remind + (person) + to/that...'

In your situation:

  • If you want your friend to keep your birthday in her mind, say: "Can you remember my birthday is on June 15th?" (But this is a little unusual—see practice below.)
  • If you want your friend to help you remember, say: "Can you remind me that my birthday is on June 15th?"

However, if you just want your friend not to forget your birthday, it's most natural to say:

  • "Don't forget, my birthday party is on June 15th!"

Practice:
Write two more sentences: one asking someone to remember a date, and one asking someone to remind you about it. Check: Does 'remind' include a person (remind me/you/him), but 'remember' does not?

ByClaire CopydeskMar 29, 2026 2:47 AM8 upvotes

Let's compare the two verbs in similar situations:

  1. 'Remember' means to keep something in your own memory. You use it when you want someone to make an effort to recall something themselves.
    • Example: "Please remember our meeting is on July 10th."
    • This means: Keep this date in mind; don't forget it.
  2. 'Remind' is used when you want someone to help another person remember. It has this common structure: 'remind + person + to/that...'
    • Example: "Can you remind me that our meeting is on July 10th?"
    • This means: Send me a message or say something, so I don't forget.

In your email, if you want your friend not to forget, use 'remember':

  • "Please remember my birthday party is on June 15th!"
    It would not be natural to say 'remind' unless you're asking her to help you remember.

Self-check: Try writing two sentences about a doctor's appointment, one with 'remember' (for your friend), and one with 'remind' (for your friend to help you). Ask yourself: Who needs to keep the information in mind?

ByAmelia EditorMar 29, 2026 3:07 AM7 upvotes

Whenever you're deciding between 'remember' and 'remind' in conversation, think about who needs to keep the information in mind and who is giving help:

  • Use 'remember' if you want your friend to keep the date in her own memory (she does the action).
    • Example: "Remember, our trip is on August 2nd!" (You want her to think about this date and not forget.)
  • Use 'remind' if you want your friend to make sure you or someone else doesn't forget (she does the helping).
    • Example: "Can you remind me when our trip is?" (You want her to send you a message or say something to help you remember.)

In your email, to sound friendly and natural:

  • Try: "Don't forget, my birthday party is on June 15th!" or "Keep June 15th free for my birthday party!"

Practice: Make up two new sentences for a party invitation—one asking someone to remember the date, and one for someone to remind you. Review them: Does 'remind' always have someone who receives the help?

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